


Did I Ever Tell You?

by amllmxn



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-06-09 06:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 7,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6893302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amllmxn/pseuds/amllmxn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear James, did I ever tell you how much I miss you whenever you're gone? Especially since it's been almost 70 years now. I miss Steve, too. I wish I could've died with the two of you; or lived with the both of you. Now I'm trapped in a world where televisions have colours and cars have come so far. I wish you could be here with me.</p><p>Love, Alice.</p><p>Little did Alice Johnson know, her wish would soon come true but it wasn't exactly what she wished for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How beautiful you are.

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is going to be pretty short but I hope you enjoy!

1946

"C'mon James!" A twenty eight year-old lady called to a man older than her by a year. "We're gonna miss the Stark Showcase!" Her short brown locks bounced as she walked quickly, with a skip in her step, towards the grand stage.

"It doesn't start for another ten minutes, Dollie," her companion chuckled, his eyes glimmered with admiration as he watched her.

"But I wanna get the good seats, James!" She protested, turning around, a pitiful pout appeared on her lips and her eyes began to plead.

"Aren't you acting like a child today, Dollie?" James Buchanan Barnes said as a smirk appeared in his lips, his eyes were gentle as he gazed at her. "What's so good about this Howard Stark guy anyways, Alice?" Alice's eyes widened and her jaw dropped as a gasp escaped her lips. 

"He is probably the most brilliant man today!" She cried passionately, "he's already invented the automobile, who knows what else he'll create!"

"Whatever you say, Dollie," James chuckled as he closed the gap between them and casually slipped an arm around Alice's waist. "C'mon," he said as he turned her around and began walking towards the stage, leading Alice along with him, "the show's about to begin."


	2. How much I want to keep you safe.

"You go enjoy the show, Dollie," said James, "I'll go try to find Steve, that kid probably ran off to enlist into the army again. Or at least attempt to." He let out a sigh and a chuckle that sounded a bit sad. He gave Alice a smile before turning around and walking away.

A few minutes later, after the crowd began to thicken, Howard Stark made his appearance on stage. "Good evening ladies and gents!" He began as Alice Dorothea Johnson watched in sheer awe.

\--

After a failed attempt at preventing Steve Rogers from enlisting into the military, a worried and disappointed James proceeded to find Alice, "She's probably still drooling over that guy." He mumbled to himself, a tinge of jealousy in his voice.

When he'd finally spotted her in the sea of women who were watching Stark's showcase, he weaselled his way rough the crowd and stood beside her. She didn't notice his presence, still deeply engaged in the man before her on the stage. James subconsciously looked at his friend of many years. She was as precious to him as Steve was, they both were the most important people in his life; but he couldn't say that out loud could he? He wasn't that type of guy.

"May I have a volunteer?" Howard Stark's confident voice broke him out of his reverie. Instantly, almost every hand in the crowd was raised, faces of admiration turned to desperation. James was surprised to see that Alice's arms remained at her sides. But the longing in her eyes told him enough. So he grabbed her hand and raised it up high, being the last to raise her hand, she grabbed Stark's attention immediately. His amusement only doubled when he noticed who raised her hand for her.

"Wh-" She turned to face the stranger who grabbed her arm so suddenly only to see that it was a familiar face, "James?" She smiled, "what are you-"

"How about you?" Howard Stark said as he gestured at Alice, "my dear lady? Would you like to assist me in my demonstration?" The brown-haired girl couldn't speak as anticipation rushed through her veins, so she nodded excitedly. "Excellent!"

\--

"So did you have fun?" James asked as he helped Alice off stage, he'd offered his hand and she gladly accepted in case she had a sudden bout of clumsiness and tripped off stage or something. He watched the demonstration until the very end, it was like a magic trick; the talented magician would invite his gorgeous assistant to aid him in his art.

"Yes I did," she looked at him sincerely, "all thanks to you, 'Bucky'" she said, finally using the nickname he always wanted her to use. A big grin spread on the soldier's face before he pulled her into a hug and spun her around.

"I've been wanting you to call me that for years!" He laughed. James never knew why but he thought it would sound nice in her voice.

"I shall call you that from now on then, Bucky," she said joyfully, greatly enjoying the sudden show of affection he gave her. "But first, I need to visit the loo." Alice added before breaking the hug and skipping to the washroom without another word.

\--

"You're a lucky man," a familiarly confident voice said behind Bucky, the latter turned around before noticing that it was Howard Stark. "She's a keeper, isn't she?"

"You're mistaken, Mr Stark," Bucky said, trying to suppress the green monster inside of him, "we're just close friends." Although he knew that wasn't what he wanted to call their relationship, and it seemed that the founder of Stark industries knew that as well.

"I see you're an army man," Stark said after a moment, looking at Bucky's neat uniform, "I mean no offense but it's a dangerous world out there, especially in war." He looked at Bucky with a kind yet serious expression on his face, "If the feelings are mutual, you should know what to do."

"In that case," Bucky replied, "can I ask for a favour?"

"Well," Howard Stark's charismatic smile returned, making the conversation seem more relaxed, "it depends."

"If I don't make it back, will you take care of her? Of my Alice?"

"Why not? I've been looking for a wife anyways," Stark joked, the two men laughed softly before the realisation of how heavy the question Bucky asked actually was, it was too real. "Jokes aside, I will try. I normally won't do this type of thing but since you asked so kindly, I shall try my best."

"I'll try my best to make it back alive, as well. If I do, maybe I'll make a move." Bucky said, there was a lighthearted smile on his face though his heart felt heavy.


	3. How much I don't want you to worry.

Alice was seething with rage. But also overwhelmed by worry and sadness as she wasn't allowed to communicate with either one of her best friends while they were at war.

"War is complicated, Miss Johnson-" Howard Stark explained, he'd taken her under his care the moment Bucky and Steve were sent to war, he promised the two of them that he wouldn't let her know if anything bad had happened to them, in case it was too much to handle. Of course, she would have to know eventually, just not while the war was still ongoing. 

"Is it because I am a woman?" She cut him off, voice shaking, "because to men's eyes I am too weak-"

"No!" It was his turn to stop her mid speech, Howard grabbed her shoulders gently as he spoke, "they don't want you to worry. They will return safe and sound. They promise. Both Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers just want you to live your life as normal and wait until they return, and not fret every moment they're away." He let her go, voice becoming gentler, "do you understand, Miss John-"

"Call me Alice," she smiled for the first time in days, "please."


	4. How much I will miss you.

As James Buchanan Barnes fell to his apparent death, like a strange surreal dream, his life flashed before his eyes...

He remembered the time he first met Steve, the latter was getting beaten up for defending a girl at the playground near their kintergarden. Bucky didn't do anything but just watched and invited Steve over to his house afterwards.

And then came the time he met Alice, they were in high school and, like Steve, she was a year younger than him. In fact, both Steve and Alice were in the same classes most of the time. Bucky remembered asking Steve to invite Alice over to his own house and then walking over at the same time to meet her by "coincidence".

A few years later, all three of them were working part time at a book store, it was smaller than more book stores so the three of them worked the same shifts. Often men would come by just to goggle at Alice and maybe drop a pickup line or two, hoping to get lucky; most of the time Steve would try to defend her himself only to get pushed out of the way, leaving Bucky to rescue her. Steve knew he could never win so all he could do was make Bucky seem even more heroic, he didn't mind as long as his two best friends were happy.

Skipping a couple more years and Bucky found himself watching himself talking to Alice at the Stark showcase carnival, it was after Howard Stark had left and Alice just finished doing whatever she was doing in the bathroom. She locked arms with him and they spent the rest of the night strolling around town. "What'd you plan to do after you return, Bucky?" She asked, still in a good mood thanks to the events that took place before.

Bucky sighed as if thinking about what he wanted to do, but he already knew, he was just thinking about whether or not he should tell her the truth or lie and make it a bigger surprise in the future.

"I don't know yet," he finally said, "maybe find a girl and settle down..." Bucky only now, as he was falling to his certain doom, that Alice had tensed up as he spoke those words. He was following behind himself and Alice, observing what he never noticed when this exact incident took place weeks before.

The happy aura that she let off was now gone, the expression on her face turned from a happy grin to just a simple sad smile. "Oh," she replied, trying to maintain her cheerful tone, "I see."

"Dollie..." The "real" Bucky said, reaching his hand out to touch her shoulder only for his hand to run right through her, as though she was just a hologram, "I was lying... I swear."

And for the first time since he fell off the train, Bucky felt true fear grip at his heart knowing that Alice Johnson would never know his true feelings for her.

And then he "died".


	5. How I hope you're well.

They were gone. The men Alice Johnson thought would be by her side for her entire life had left her.

  
\--

Howard Stark kept his promise to Bucky by giving Alice a house which was right beside his home. It was the house of her dreams and she never felt lonely even though she wasn't allowed to leave the place without the presence of either Howard Stark, himself, or Peggy Carter. The estate had a small library, a nice kitchen, and beautifully furnished bedrooms and living room. She tried her best to keep her mind off her two friends who were risking their lives by learning new recipes or reading new books, occasionally sending them a letter them with details about her new life; often ending them off with "miss you," or "hope to see you soon!" She'd never gotten a letter back.

Then came the day the news of their deaths came. It was in the form of a letter, Alice thought it was the long-awaited reply from either Bucky or Steve but it was much, much worse. On the envelope was written, "From Peggy, To Alice" and the letter inside was as written:

Dearest Alice,  
I am sorry. You must be wondering why Howard and I weren't able to see you this past week and so you've probably been home alone for this dreadful period of time. I am writing this to explain why that is so. This is not a happy letter, my dear friend, so I beg you to prepare yourself for the worst as you read this. James Buchanan Barnes and Steve Rogers have died in the line of duty. Barnes fell off a moving train while he and Steve were fighting against enemy soldiers while Steve, later on, made the decision to sacrifice his life by crashing the very plane he was in into the ocean, it carried a bomb, you see. I

The letter just ended off there. Her heart felt like it'd just been shot, they couldn't be dead! She just knew it! They promised to be with her forever! "This isn't forever!" Alice screamed in blinding rage as she crushed the letter and flung it across the living room. Alice's chest rose up and down erratically as tears streamed down her face endlessly. Just minutes before she decided to read the letter, she'd been reading a book; it was a simple and heartwarming book story; one that made her heart feel even colder than it already was before. The book was sitting face down on the couch beside her, she stared at it for a moment, vision still blurry from the tears, and then picked the book up and flung that across the room, as well. The 'thump' was the only thing she could hear besides her sobs just for a split second as the book's hard cover hit the floor.

"What am I supposed to do now?" Alice whispered to no one, hands rubbing her sore eyes vigorously in an attempt to stop the tears.


	6. How I hope I get to see you again.

"Your life or that serum! It's your choice, little lady!"

\--

After a month of crying and being mothered by Peggy, Alice came to terms with the deaths of her friends. She'd isolated herself from the world except for Peggy and sometimes Howard for an entire month. A lot tears were shed and she though the pain would never end but it did, slightly.

"Can I," Alice grabbed Peggy's arm as she was preparing to leave for work, "follow you? I'd like some fresh air, please."

"Of course," her friend replied, "but stay by my side the entire time, understand me? I need to keep you safe."

\--

"And this, Alice," said Peggy as she led the brunette into the laboratory, "is where we made the serum used for Steve's transformation into-"

"Captain America." Alice said at the same time as her, trying to visualise what could've happened in this very room which changed everyone's lives forever. She knew only as much as Steve becoming a super soldier but anything else that happened on the battlefield and beyond, she was clueless. She didn't even see him as Captain America in person, only on posters and the newspapers.

"We've been trying to modify the serum so that it's suitable for everyone," Peggy continued, picking up a syringe labelled "7", "you probably don't know this but the serum only works on people who are like Steve Rogers. Honest. Kind. Brave. But it's hard to be all three of those things, isn't it?"

She placed it back down on a metal table and turned to face Alice, "so we've been trying all we can to make a serum which can help anyone and everyone not just people like Steve." She sighed, "Number 7 was our latest experiment, the rest were hopeless. This syringe," she picked up number 7 again, "contains the only bit of serum number 7 we have." She placed it back down carefully, "it's been difficult here lately." 

"I'm sure you'll find a way, Peggy," Alice reassured, placing a warm hand on her shoulder. But before the agent could reply, the door to the labratory exploded open and the culprits began shooting at everyone inside the room.

"Get down!" Peggy pushed Alice to the ground and stood up, pulling out her gun and shot at the intruders. Unfortunately, before she managed to kill off all of them, the last one standing shot several rounds at her torso, rendering her unconscious.

Alice was the only one either alive, awake or unwounded in the room except for the man who shot Peggy. Her heart palpitated wildly as she laid on the ground motionless, thinking about what to do. "These men were probably trying to steal something... Why else would they storm a labratory?" She thought.

The last intruder walked around the room, mumbling something under his breath. Alice strained her ears to pick up what he was saying only to realise that it was "serum... Serum... Serum..."

"Number 7!" Alice thought as her eyes darted around the room, looking around desperately for the syringe that Peggy just showed her seconds ago.

After a long minute her eyes met a syringe on the ground which glowed blue thanks to the colour of the liquid inside of it. It was labelled "7".

"The bastard's still on the other side of the room..." She thought, "I can get it before he does!" Then she began to crawl over to the object, slowly and carefully.

"Almost there..." She thought, reaching her arm out to grab it, "so close..." Her fingers had just brushed against the small glass tube when the intruder shot her the ground right beside her.

Knowing that she was already caught, Alice quickly scrambled to her feet and grabbed the syringe, holding her arms out in surrender in front of the masked man.

"Your life or that serum! It's your choice, little lady!" The bastard threatened.

"I have nothing to live for anyways," Alice said with a smile that sent chills down the man's spine before she injected the serum into herself. It was a reckless idea, but what other choice did she have?

"You dumb bitch!" He yelled, storming towards her. To Alice, it seemed like he was walking in slow motion, her body was burning as the unknown liquid flowed through her veins.

As he was about to grab her, Alice held her hand out towards him and flames erupted from her fingertips, burning the intruder alive.

And that was all she remembered until she passed out.


	7. How I will never truly forget you.

It'd been a hundred and two times. A hundred and two cycles of being brainwashed, interrogated then being brainwashed again.

"What does the name Alice Dorothea Johnson mean to you?" The face he'd come to despise asked yet again.

"My love." Bucky replied without hesitation, he could've lied and pretended that his memory was wiped clean but how convincing would that be? Besides, though he was in pain, he saw this as a personal challenge to never forget Alice and give these assholes a hard time.

The HYDRA scientist growled in frustration before slamming his head back down against the headrest and activated the brainwashing device for the hundred and third time. As the electricity travelled through Bucky's body every single time afterwards, he found that he was beginning to forget.

"What does the name Alice Johnson mean to you?" The scientist repeated yet again.

"M-" Bucky began to flinch, as though he was having trouble figuring out the answer to the question.

"Let me repeat myself," the HYDRA bastard said, this time with an air of arrogance and a smile that said "bingo", "what does the name Alice. Dorothea. Johnson. Mean to you, soldier?"

Before he could process the meaning of the name completely, Bucky replied with a stoic expression and monotonous voice, "nothing."


	8. How long it's been.

Alice's eyes shot open as she woke up. Her eyes darted around the strange room as her chest rose up and down abruptly. "Where am I?" She thought, still trying to process the odd environment around her.

The room was completely white with a single window, the bed she laid on was extremely soft and though it wasn't snowing outside, she found the room to be cold. Beside her was a weird computer-like object with a screen and tubes coming out and hanging all over the place. Some of the tubes were attached to her wrist.

Panicking, Alice tore them off and hopped off the bed before deciding to look through the window, "maybe I'll see something I recognize..."

She didn't.

It was an environment so foreign to her that her head began to spin as she observed the life going on outside. There were automobiles everywhere, like even ordinary people could afford them now. There were huge buildings which were tall and clean and shiny; there were giant televisions with colour placed on the sides of those buildings.

Without thinking, the brunette dashed out of the room, pushing the door open roughly causing it to slam against the wall. The corridor looked even more confusing to her, the lights were too bright and everything smelled so clean. However, there was no one around.

Heart palpitating wildly in her chest, Alice screamed. "Help!" She turned back and forth, wondering which seemingly endless path to take. "Anyone?!" She yelled again, only to recieve no reply. "Please! I-I think I'm lost!" It was then a booming voice echoed in the halls.

"Alright Miss Johnson," the strange voice came from no where, "please calm down, we are sending Mr Stark to see you."

"Howard?" She asked, looking at the ceiling, expecting the voice to answer her.

"No," man came running from one end of the corridor towards her, "but his son." The man stopped at a respectable distance from her and had a confused look in his eyes.

"I'm Tony, Tony Stark," he held his hand out. Alice hesitated a moment before shaking his hand slowly.

"Howard's son?" She said, unconvinced, "but he doesn't have a son... He doesn't even have a wife..."

Tony tensed up, "he's dead. And so's my Mom."

A chill ran up Alice's spine. "W-what?"

"Look, Miss Joh-"

"Alice," she cut him off, "call me Alice, please."

"Alright, Alice," Tony sighed, as if having difficulty trying to think about what to say, "you've been in a coma for a... Long time. You see, it's the year 2014 now."

"It-it can't be..." Alice felt tears begin to roll down her cheeks as her heart felt like it had stopped beating. "It's been almost 70 years?" She sobbed, hands placed on her face, covering her pained expression from Tony.

The son of Howard could only pat her shoulder comfortingly, he knew there were nicer ways of breaking the news to her but sometimes people have to face reality like how they rip off a bandaid, just in one clean rip.

In the midst of her crying, another voice came from the other end of the corridor, this time it was much, much more familiar.

"Alice?"

Alice felt her breath get caught in her throat as her body froze and goosebumps formed on her skin. "You can't be here..." She said, hands still on her face, though she turned around to face the source of the voice. "Y-you're dead..."

"I'm very much alive," the familiar man said, "please look at me, I want-" his voice cracked, "I want to see your face again..."

Alice peeled her hands off her face and opened her eyes slowly, once her vision cleared, it went blurry again as fresh tears dotted at her eyes. She ran forwards, hurling herself towards the man.

"It's so good to see you again, Steve."

"You too, Alice..."


	9. How the world has changed.

The new world was an extremely odd place to Alice. With its noisy streets with cars that never stopped driving, it was completely different from how she'd remembered it.

While Alice stared out a window of the Stark tower, where she was brought to after she woke up, Tony was gathering as much files as possible that were related to her and Steve sitting in his room in a daze.

"I'm back," Tony announced, holding a huge pile of files in his arms and dropping them onto a coffee table. "So," he said, rubbing his hands together as he sat down on the couch opposite of Alice, "what'd you like to know first?"

"How did I not age?" She asked with no hesitation; the brunette' looked at her appearance in a bathroom mirror earlier on for almost as hour, trying to figure out how her face stayed so young throughout the years.

"Well," Tony began, "you injected yourself with serum number 7 which was basically a modified version of Cap's super serum. Throughout the years you were comatosed, your genes," he picked up a file and flipped through it, stopping at a page, "slowly evolved and basically mutated in a way that you age really slowly, just like Rogers.

"However, that's not the only thing that the serum did to your body," he continued, "like I said, it mutated your genes, and the process went on for so long to the point where you have unnatural traits, if you already haven't figured that out."

Alice's confused face told him enough. The man sighed and picked up another file, flinging the previous one away, "the day you fell to supposedly never-ending unconsciousness, you caused a fire in the exact laboratory you got knocked out in. It took twenty SHIELD agents and a whole day to put out the fire. My father thought you were a goner but nope! Your body was completely unharmed. And as it also turned out, the reason why the fire took so long to be out out was because the source was still in the midst of the chaos. Want to guess what or who was the source of said fire?" He asked with a hint of sass.

"Me?" Alice replied softly and completely unconvinced. "But it can't be-"

"Look, Alice, you went into a coma for almost seventy years, never aged a day since then and survived a fire that was shooting out of your hands," Tony said, "I think whatever you believe can't be can very well be."

\--

"Target locked," a masked assassin mumured as he aimed his sniper at the girl sitting by the window of Stark Towers. He was about to pull the trigger when a sudden forgotten memory flashed through his mind.

"I'll miss you, Bucky, both you and Steve..."

"I know, Dollie, but don't fret, I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise."


	10. That I will never hurt you.

"Your next target, Soldier," snarled the HYDRA scientist as he stood in front of the Winter Soldier who was sat in the seat where he was tortured many times, "goes by the name of Alice Dorothea Johnson."

The Winter Soldier felt his eye twitch but ignored it easily. "Since the first day HYDRA's attempted to steal SHIELD's super soldier serum, we've been trying to hunt her down after we found out what she'd down with serum number 7.

"However, the bitch," the Winter Soldier's right eye twitched again, "got herself into a coma before we could lay our hands on her. She's woken up and is now roaming freely, it's our chance to kill her off.

"Understood?" The Russian man said firmly, eyes never leaving the Soldier's stoic face.

"Clearly."

\--

"Well," Alice said, preparing to ask her twelfth question, "then how-"

Bang!

A curse escaped her lips as she felt a bullet hit her right shoulder. Her ear rang while the missing chunk of flesh caused her arm to suffer from immense pain. "Tony..." Alice murmured, vision blurry, she wasn't used to such pain yet.

"Stay down," he said, a look of panic clear in his eyes, "I'll take care of this." And he left; shortly after you could hear something flying off but you dared not get up from your crouching position, fearing another bullet flying your way.


	11. I'm sorry I'm not who I was.

"Is the target dead?" A familiar voice said from his earpiece. The soldier didn't reply. "I repeat. Is. The. Target. Dead?" Anger evident in his rough voice.

"No." The Winter Soldier finally replied, still laying motionless on the ground, eyes still looking at the building he'd shot at, trying to find the girl whom he was supposed to kill.

"Then kill her! What're you waiting for?!" The scientist then proceeded to yell out Russian profanities, wondering what the hell was wrong with him.

"I can't."

"Why not?!"

"I don't know."

"Urgh!" The man behind the ear piece groaned in annoyance, never before had the soldier not been able to kill his target. "Fine! Then bring her to us! But mark my words, soldier, if she comes back to us alive or doesn't come to us at all, you're in for a real treat." 

"Yes sir." The Winter Soldier replied, voice monotonous, not fearing the scientist's threats at all. He couldn't feel anything, anyways.

But this girl. This woman was something special.

\--

Steve Rogers came running into the living room where Alice laid motionless on the ground.

"Alice!" Steve exclaimed as he ran towards her, only to be stopped by her hand being raised towards him, signalling him to stop.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." She said, face pale and voice quivering, "there's a sniper. Somewhere. I think he's still watching us.

"Tony went off to God knows where and told me to stay here."

"I'll get my shield, you just do as Tony said and stay here, don't move a muscle. If the sniper's really still here, he must think you're dead."

\--

Twenty minutes passed and Steve was still no where to be found as Alice laid on the shiny marble floor, arm still bleeding and breath still shaking.

A mere minute passed before she heard footsteps and her heart filled with hope. She turned her head to face the door and her body went numb.

Standing by the door was a masked man with a metal arm, and in his hands held a sniper rifle.

He walked towards her silently.

Alice sat up quickly, instincts telling her to run, only to find that she was trapped. The couch which she sat only a while earlier was behind her and to her left and right were broken glass and blood splatters. She could run either way but knowing how weak she was from the blood loss, she wouldn't be able to go far before the masked man killed her.

So she sat frozen to the ground, staring up at the metal-armed assailant. Heart pounding in her ribcage like it was trying to tear its way out of her chest.

The Winter Soldier knelt down in front of her and grabbed her good arm, pulling her up roughly before taking the blunt handle of his sniper rifle and knocking her out.

He hauled the unconscious woman onto his shoulder and made his escape.


	12. That I cannot believe my eyes.

When Alice woke, she had a bag over her head. She was in a seat which reminded her of the kind dentists use, and her hands were strapped firmly to the seat's arms.

Alice heard voices in the room, many voices. After straining her ears more, she noticed that all of the voices came from men.

"What're they going to do to me?!" She thought, panic beginning to sink in as she realised that she was not in a dream. Her hands struggled against their bonds and it wasn't until a few minutes later that the bag over her head was roughy pulled off.

Her eyes took a moment to adjust to the room's lights and when she realised who it was standing in front of her, Alice almost fainted.

"James?"

The man she thought had died so many years ago was standing right there, right in front of her. She would've jumped into his arms if she wasn't stuck to the seat.

But she struggled, she struggled against her bonds like an animal trying to get out of a hunter's trap. "James..." She said, tears beginning to escape her eyes. "James... It's me, Alice!" She cried, voice beginning to crack.

He wasn't moving. He wasn't trying to save her. The man just stood there, staring into her eyes, stoic and soulless-like.

"It's me, Bucky," his eyes twitched, "your Dollie."

"Doll?" He whispered huskily, head tilted in confusion, as if trying to recall something he'd forgotten a long time ago.

"Strap him down, wash his mind." Said a authoritative voice from behind glass, it looked like a mirror but there were people behind it, Alice could feel it.

Almost immediately after the unknown man gave his instructions, two men came into the room, they grabbed Bucky and pushed him into a seat similar to Alice's. It sat in the corner of the room, she didn't notice it until then.

"Doll..." He said, arm reaching out towards her as the two men strapped him in, he wasn't resisting but it looked like he wanted to.

It was only at that moment, Alice'd realised something wrong with his arms. "His arm... It's... Metal?" A sense of anger began to rise in her, her heart felt an aching pain as she began to process that kind of things that could've happened to the man she grew to love. What kind of things they did to him...

"What did you bastards do to him?!" She screamed, fresh tears of anger rolled down her cheeks. The men ignored her. 

A maniac laugh came from behind the mirror, "you know what?" It had a Russian accent. "Wash her brain, too."

"Don't touch her-" Bucky yelled a split second before an electric current ran through his brain and he lost everything yet again.


	13. I didn't mean to.

"He's not returned."

"What'd you mean by that?!"

"It's simple: he. Hasn't. Come. Back."

"Find him then!"

"I can't! He's off our radar! He's escaped for good, I suppose!"

"How can you be so calm about this, Professor?"

"Because we still have her."

Alice Johnson felt her head spin as she slowly gained consciousness. Her hands were still strapped to the seat and her hair had a strange burnt smell.

"What is your name, Miss?" The unknown HYDRA man asked in a sickeningly kind manner. She'd been trapped with them for days, months, even. Alice didn't know for sure as she'd lost track of time.

"Alice... Dorothea... Johnson..." She muttered, breathless.

"Good. What is your purpose?"

A part of her felt like saying, "to serve HYDRA," but she wasn't convinced. She knew these men'd been doing something wrong with her brain so she kept quiet.

The fake smile on the HYDRA man's face faded away before he wordlessly prepped her for another cycle of brainwashing.

"There we go again..." Alice thought, almost numb to the pain.

\--

Bucky was lost. He'd finally been given the freedom he yearned for after so many years but something felt off.

Like he was forgetting something. Or someone...

After a few days of getting himself settled to his apparent new life, he slowly began to piece together what he needed to make himself feel complete. And that was the woman he left behind in the hands of HYDRA.

The revelation didn't come to him easily, he spent days and nights thinking and thinking. Only for the realisation to hit him while he was asleep. It was a nightmare filled dream like always but it became a pleasant night when he saw her face.

"Hey there, Bucky!" Dream-Alice said, she looked at him like how she always did; with adoration, kindness and... Love. Funny he never noticed that until now. "You're finally free, huh? Good for you, James." Her voice sounded slightly sad. "Too bad I won't see you again, I'll probably be dead soon enough after you left me alone back there with HYDRA."

Bucky wanted to protest, "I didn't mean to!" He thought but no words could leave his mouth. He reached out a hand to touch her shoulder but no matter how hard he tried, how much he ran, he could never reach Alice.

"But it's okay," she said, tears began flowing freely down her face, "as long as you're happy, I'll be okay."

It was then he was snapped out of his dream. He was sweating and panting at the same time.

"I'll save you."


	14. I'm dangerous.

She couldn't take it anymore. The verbal, mental and physical torture proved too much for Alice after almost a month being HYDRA's guinea pig.

At one point she tried to bite her tongue off but before she could successfully do so, they placed a gag in her mouth which was strapped to her head. "You aren't getting away that easy, my dear." They said.

One thing that was strange to her was that she almost constantly felt an odd warm sensation on her fingertips. Sometimes the sensations went from warm to hot when her emotions got overwhelming.

\--

Bucky knew exactly which HYDRA base she was in. HYDRA had tons of bases but he was almost completely sure that they hadn't moved her to a different area, it was too much of a hassle.

When he reached his destination, however, he was shocked beyond compare.

\--

"Don't... Touch me!" Alice growled, sick and tired of being experimented on yet again. She twisted and turned in her seat but couldn't do much to keep the German men away. "I'll kill you!"

The scientist laughed arrogantly, "and how're you going to do that, Little Mouse?" She flinched at the disgusting nickname he'd given her some time ago. In fact, she noticed that she couldn't stand hearing several words or phrases, she often felt a flush of anger and violence when those were mentioned. "Little Mouse" was definitely one of them.

"Mark my words, you monster! I," she glared at him, it was the first time she was brave enough to look him in the eye, "will melt your flesh off your very bones!" Alice was shocked at the words escaping her lips, was she always this violent?

The scientist only smiled, "seems like the experiments are working. Just a little longer, Little Mouse, then you'll be 'free'!"

No words could describe the overwhelming sense of rage that washed over Alice the moment the HYDRA bastard said those words.

He laughed yet again and turned around to leave, but before he could even reach the door, the hottest fire licked at his skin and melted the flesh off his bones.

\--

Bucky'd killed off multiple HYDRA soldiers before he arrived at the room you were kept in. But he was horrifically shocked at the sight that greeted him.

The steel door that was difficult even for him to force open was gone, only a lump of melted steel left in its wake.

He slowly walked towards the door, bracing himself for any enemies he might need to eliminate. There were none. He only found Alice sitting on the ground in the corner of the now burnt room. The walls were charred black and almost everything in the room itself had been reduced to a lump on the ground.

Bucky felt a sense of relief wash over him when he noticed that Alice was okay. She didn't seem injured. However, as he walked towards her, he couldn't shake off his curiosity; he'd see a great deal of things in his lifetime but never something like this.

"Dollie," he whispered as he kneeled beside Alice, he reached a hand out to touch her shoulder, flinching when she did. "It's me, Bucky. I'm here to take you away, alright?"

Alice had her knees propped up, her arms wrapped around her legs while her head rested on top of her knees.

She nodded in response, not saying a word.

"Alright," Bucky mumbled as he helped her up, "let's go." He said, only to realise that she was incredibly weak, her knees gave way instantly.

"Ouch..." She muttered in pain after falling face flat to the ground.

"Sorry 'bout that, Doll," Bucky felt himself chuckle a little, "why don't I carry you like we did when we were kids, huh?"

Alice nodded again, eyes avoiding his, before he stood her up and went in front of her. He took her arms and wrapped them around his shoulders firmly before taking her thighs and hauling her up in his back - "the old-fashioned piggy-back", as Steve used to call it after they were "too old" to do it any more many years ago.


	15. That this is our new beginning.

Alice woke up with a jolt, she instantly began gasping, her eyes darting around, trying to analyze the new environment. She had a nightmare which didn't seem like one while she was asleep. However, as she realised that she was in a completely unrecognisable environment, Alice wondered if she'd even woken up.

Her gasped turned into simple heavy breathing, she was sitting up on a small bed, a thin blanket draped her over legs. "Where am I?" She thought.

After gaining back her normal heart rate, Alice slowly got off the bed and walked towards the only window of the room. She looked out of it and felt panic sink in once more when she heard nothing but a foreign tongue and the noisy bustle of the market near the building she was in. The language sounded familiar though she couldn't speak nor really understand it.

Subconsciously finding comfort in looking out the window, Alice didn't noticed the sound of the apartment's front door opening and closing. A minute or two passed before the door leading to her room creaked as it was pushed opened slowly.

"I see you're awake." A voice said. Alice couldn't believe her ears, she felt herself slowly turning around and a tear rolled down her face.

"Bucky?..." She whispered, not believing her eyes.

A sad smile formed on his face as he looked at Alice, "hey, Dollie."

Unable to speak anymore, the brunette ran towards him and embraced him firmly. Bucky returned the gesture instantly, "I missed you..." She said.

"Missed you, too, love."


	16. That Life was Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah it's been a long time but I'm back! Let's see how this goes!

Bucky carried Alice to a small apartment that was unfamiliar to her. He laid her down on the couch before plopping next to Alice, exhausted.

The air was still and tense for a while. Neither of them spoke. She didn't know what to say. Everything was such a mess recently, what could she say?

Bucky was speechless, too. His body was sore as hell from the fight he'd had with Captain America from a day ago. He was able to escape HYDRA thanks to all the chaos it was in after the whole incident with SHIELD.

Subconsciously adjusting his arm, Bucky flinched. His metal arm'd been badly damaged during the fight and he couldn't fix it himself with just one hand. He didn't have any of the right tools either. 

Upon noticing his discomfort, Alice immediately turned to him, face full of concern. "Are you okay?" Her voice sounded so sweet to Bucky it almost brought actual tears to his eyes.

Alice watched as the love of her life broke down. He was no longer the horrifyingly cold assassin he was a while ago, he was Bucky, the person you loved so much it hurt.

"I..." Bucky inhaled deeply, calming himself down, "I'm fine... it's just my arm."

Alice looked down at his prosthetic and hesitated to touch it. She could see the damage and she had a rough idea on how to fix it properly but... it scared her. Even the toaster scared her for crying out loud.

"I think fix it," she said hesitantly, looking into Bucky's eyes, "I mean, I'm not sure how it works but, I could try, you know-"

"Go for it," he said in the midst of her rambling. A small smile played on his lips, Alice always rambled whenever she was nervous.  
\--  
Nighttime was the worst.

The small apartment had only one bedroom and they had to share a bed. That wasn't the worst part, though, sharing a bed was nothing.

For both Alice and Bucky, their own nightmares were the worst. Every night one of them would wake the other up with crying and, occasionally, screaming.

The torture both of them had been through was forever etched into their minds.  
\--  
Alice woke up one night after a particularly nasty dream. The scientists decided one day that they would experiment on her eyes.

"Anesthesia would affect the results..."

"Make do without it then!"

"But the pain might kill-"

"Our Little Mouse is a fighter, she won't die so easy..."

She certainly felt like dying.

Alice glanced at Bucky, he was in a peaceful slumber for the first time and she didn't want to wake him for her own selfish needs.

Silently, the girl made her way to the washroom and locked the door. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were moist, her hair was in a complete mess, as well.

Alice sniffled before beginning to sob. She leaned against the door and sat down, crying. She was tortured by HYDRA for so long she was amazed that she was still alive.  
\--  
Bucky woke up abruptly, not from a dream but from someone's crying. The sounds made his heart ache and he wondered why until he noticed the bed was empty besides him.

"Alice?" He murmured before finding her in the washroom.

He knocked on the door. The sobs halted instantly with a few sniffles at the end. "Alice are you okay?"

"I-I'm okay, just..." she replied, "couldn't sleep..."

"Are you coming out?" He asked when no sound emerged from within the locked room. Bucky's worry grew with every second that passed.

"I'd rather not..."

"C'mon Dollie," he pleaded, his voice'd begun to quiver, "please."

A moment passed before the door was unlocked with a click. A smile tugged on Bucky's lips as he scooped Alice into a firm hug the moment he saw her.

"Don't ever do that again," he whispered as he nuzzled into her hair, "talk to me... don't cry alone."


End file.
